The Deal Ordeal

In my boredom during the summer holidays, I was watching Deal or No Deal (Australian version) as you do at 5:30 when you’ve got nothing else to do. Anyway, they were advertising for audience members and the chance to get on the podium, etc., and said to email them if you wanted to participate. So of course I did!

I didn’t really expect to hear back, but lo and behold, Vivienne emailed and invited us to a special all-day filming of the “Dancing with the Deals” shows. We would be required for an entire Saturday and have the chance to win door prizes and cash prizes if you were selected to go up to the podium with the cases. The date was the 3rd of February from 8:00am until at least 5:30pm, wearing our best “cocktail hour” attire. I accepted the invitation and dragged Lachlan along with me.

Before the big day, we had to go shopping for some “nice” clothes, as all I have are rags that I can get away with wearing because I’m a full-time student and a violin teacher. So I found a fetching halter-top dress with a white background and red and black vine-like pattern, and a large black bandeau around the upper waist. It is a modern day Marilyn Monroe dress, pretty much. Lachlan also sported a brand-new suit. We looked spiffier than we did at our wedding.

On the morning of the 3rd, I woke up at 6:00am to get ready. For those of you who know me, this is not my time of day. During my shower, I grabbed what I thought was a soap with some sparkles in it and tried to lather up my arms. It wasn’t soap after all; it was just a “glitter bar.” What that means, to all the men reading this, is that the lather I tried to create was just a thick layer of glitter on my arms and shoulders. I looked like a disco ball. No matter how much I tried to rub it off, it wasn’t going anywhere fast. So I resigned myself to my state of glitter overkill and we left for the show.

We got to the Channel Seven Studio and saw our friends Kevin, Kat, Scott and Rachelle (all from the States except Scott, and Kevin & Kat are from Wisconsin!). They already had their nametags and seat locations in Block 1, but we were placed on “standby” for some reason. That was horrible, sitting there waiting to see if we would be accepted into the “Dealodrome.” All I could think about was how much money we had just spent on new outfits and how I’d rather be in bed sleeping. But we lucked out in the end and were put in Block 3.

The first order of business was to go over the rules of the game, learn how to open the cases, how to make the signs for “deal” or “no deal,” etc. We were about to tape 5 shows with different Aussie celebrities that were participating in Dancing with the Stars. The selection of the Blocks was to be random, so there was a chance that your Block might go up to the podium more than once or not at all. And then the first Block selection was called…”Block 3”!!!! Lachlan and I looked at each other in agony. Why did we have to be the first ones up there??!!

So we made our way up to the podium with the 23 other blokes and Sheilas, no doubt as nervous as we were. I had case number 19 and Lachlan had number 20. We were on the top row of the podium, and I was still the glitter queen. Part of it had rubbed off on Lachlan’s suit and some had rubbed off on the suit of the guy on my other side, but most of it was still stuck on me.

Our celebrity for this game was Kate Cebrano, a popular Australian singer and a lovely girl. She was full of energy, dancing all over the place with Andrew O’Keefe (the witty host). It was absolutely surreal. Here we were, on a Saturday morning, on a GAME SHOW! Anyway, as the game was underway, I nervously tried to think of how much money was in my case. Was it a lot of money? Was it $2.00? I had no clue. I just wanted Kate to leave me alone until later in the game when I had fewer amounts left to choose from. But no, I was maybe the 7th or 8th person she chose. And to add insult to injury, she said, “You’re all shiny!” Yes, don’t remind me. So I said, “Good luck Kate, I think I’ve got $250.” I opened the case, and there was $20,000, I think! Now I can’t remember. So I missed out on the $500 for the correct guess. Then she chose Lachlan, calling him “Masseur 20!” He also guessed his amount incorrectly. So our 10 seconds of fame seemed to be over! Or so we thought…

During the next game, our friends’ Block was selected to be on the podium, so we hoped they would have better luck than we did. Their celebrity was the guy who did the commentary for the Australian Open, and a former Australian tennis champ. I can’t for the life of me remember his name. When Kevin was up, he guessed the correct amount inside his case, so he won $500! That was cool.

For the 3rd show, neither one of our Blocks were chosen, so we had to sit through another game squished in our seats like sardines. But we knew that lunch was immediately following, so it wasn’t too awful. The celebrity was some dude from the show “Home and Away.” Shows you how well I have adapted into Australian culture. Lunch break was 45 minutes and we were offered “quarter” sandwiches (not full and not half), and some fruit. There were no plates, so we could only take as much as we could pile onto a napkin. Naturally, I went for second helpings.

The 4th show featured Australian pole-vaulter Tatiana Gregoriava (I know I spelled it wrong). Kevin was called up to the podium again as a random audience member selection. The kid next to him got called for the $10,000 Mega-guess, and the freak guessed it correctly! He won 10 grand, and Kevin overheard him say, “This will buy a lot of Coke!” Fantastic. Moving on, when Kevin was called he guessed his amount correctly AGAIN, not only winning another $500, but Tatiana gave him $500 cash on the spot! Lucky Kevin won a total of $1,500 that day.

Just as we were wishing it was all over, our Block was called up for a 2nd time to be on the 5th and final show for the day! You can imagine how ticked Block 2 and Block 5 were, as they never got the chance to go up… We ended up with the same case numbers, 19 and 20. By then, my glitter had settled down a bit. We had David Graham as our celebrity, the gay farmer from the last Big Brother. He has the broadest grin known to man – very much like the Cheshire cat.

We were much more comfortable going up there the 2nd time, not stressing out about being on camera and stuff. This time when I was called, I said “Best of luck, David, I think I have $2,000.” I opened the case and there was $1,000! Blast it – so close. Lachlan also missed his amount, and so we ended up leaving with Zippo, zilch, nada. The game went on forever because David took five minutes to decide which case to open every time. But it worked out in his favour in the end…

We didn’t leave until almost 7:00pm – completely knackered. I went to bed at 8:30, which is even stranger than waking up at 6:00! But it was a fun experience overall, and one that I won’t forget. The shows haven’t aired yet, but I’ll tape them when they do. It’s a “deal."